Saturday, November 1, 2008

Self-Esteem Saturday or Sunday #3

Pennies In My Pocket


Snag the banner and join in!

Assignment: Write a post about how you try to boost
your spouse/significant other's self-esteem.

OK, last week's assignment was rather thought provoking, but very difficult. I thought I would lighten things up by seeing everyone's ways to boost the one the love. :-) Please, join in and write your very own SESS and sign Mr. Linky. You may comment instead, but why not sign Mr. Linky and have us come visit your post? :)

This one is easy for me. I've been married for 12 years and have had plenty of time to get to know what boosts his self-esteem....

Notice/Affirm
Appreciate
Praise Publicly
Include
Respect

Many of us women think that men are hard to read and complex (pretty much how they view us) but really, they are just like us. The same things that make us happy (besides a great purse and shoe) pretty much makes them happy, too. Love, encouragement, respect, affection...I could go on and on.

I know my hubby loves it when I notice his efforts. For example, when he's been making a huge attempt to get into shape and work out 3-5 times a week his self-esteem is boosted high when I notice and say something affirming. Or when he cuts his hair, he likes it when I notice. Sound familiar? Then there are the times he spends two hours doing the lawn or the same amount of time detailing the car.

My hubby does a lot around the house. I always tell him that he'd make the perfect housewife. har har! He's a wonderful husband who constantly thinks about me, my feelings, my opinions, my concerns, etc. I try express my appreciation very frequently. Of course, there are a billion ways to show appreciation. This leads me into bragging about my hubby to others ... I try to publicly praise him when he's with me. Who doesn't love that? I mean, just thinking about him saying something wonderful about me in front of others makes me blush.

I'm the type of person who likes to just get something done. I'll only ask for help if I absolutely have to. Well, I'm getting better actually....I've realized that when I'm working on something such as arranging furniture, picking paint colors, birthday or Christmas shopping, etc that my hubby likes to be included. Just this week we were discussing how I was going run out and get Pumpkin Doodles a costume. My sweet husband said, "I know I can't go with you, but could you just give me a call when you're shopping so that I can be a part of picking her costume out?" I know, I know, I know...some of you are saying that your hubby could give a rip what costume you get your kids, but my hubby loves the details.

Well, it's not hard for me to respect my husband especially after thinking about everything he does and everything is he to me. I also need to show my respect to him on a regular basis by respecting his opinions, feelings, etc. As passionate as I am about my opinions, I need to remember that he's entitled to have passion, too. I try to show respect by hearing him out and not being quick to interrupt.

The biggest challenge of this post wasn't writing it, it is keeping it in the front of my mind daily. When his self-esteem is boosted it usually leads to mine being boosted as well. :-)

I'm re-recommending the book I mentioned last weekend: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate


I hope you join in this week! If you do, be sure to sign Mr. Linky so everyone can visit your post! :-)

16 comments:

Jen said...

I wanted to play last weekend but did not get a chance. I am sure going to try this weekend, maybe...

Lynette said...

The 5 love languages is an excellent book to recommend. Also may sound silly but Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is also a good one to help understand your mate.
My dear hubby also like to be appreciated, not taken for granted, noticed and recogonized for what he does for me too! And it is not hard as he is so good at always telling me he loves me, calls me daily from work to say hello and never ever leaves the house without a hug and kiss. I like leaving him notes in his lunch box, fixing him special treats and nibbling his neck (that makes him blush).

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

Well, I think you have one amazing man! Can he start a class and give lessons? (ha ha) Great post!!

Lynette said...

Plan on doing a self esteem post on Sunday. Thanks for the reminder though!

christie said...

It's amazing how much those things work to create a happy relationship.
Respect is an awesome one...especially when you actually use the word in a compliment.

Liz said...

You are absolutely right, the biggest challenge in this post is keeping it in mind and constantly remember that I need to tell him how much he means to us more often than I do!!

tommie said...

Going through a 15 month deployment will either make of break a marriage. I realized I am a much better person with him than without him. I have friends who realized they could do it by themselves...and they are now divorced.

I think so many people get into the daily rut without the respect and appreciation.

Tabitha Blue said...

Such a GREAT, GREAT book! Hope you're having a wonderful weekend!! :)

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"The Queen in Residence" said...

I actually wrote a paper in English about this such thing. I will have to dust it off and see if it is anygood. But I love the idea. I think our men get such a bun rap for doing all that they do. It is the wise wife that figures out and continues to praise her man. He will do anything for her if he feels he is loved and valued!!!
I'll be back with something......

Lynette said...

Melody as I promised I would have it on Sunday. Well here it is.
http://theysayimnuts.blogspot.com/2008/11/coming-soon-watch-for-it-this-sunday.html
And don't forget to reset your clocks and check your smoke alarm batteries.

Michelle said...

Great post Melody. You are right about men, they are pretty simple characters.

What you said made me realize that I need to do more to let my husband know how much I appreciate him.

Sandy Toes said...

Great post...You hit it on the head!
-sandy toes

Jen - Balancing beauty and bedlam said...

This is a great post....I AFFIRM everything you have written, and appreciate the Respect that you show your husband in this very Public forum. :) hee hee.
My friend co-authored the Five Languages of an Apology with Gary Chapman. That is a fascinating look at how everyone gives and receives apologies in a different "language" much like his 5 love languages. It was eye opening.

Mamarazzi said...

missed it this week. just too much going on! but i WILL be doing SES this coming sunday...fo shizzle!

Michael Lee said...

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